


Uh-Oh

by Office



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Gen, Humor, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 13:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Office/pseuds/Office
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blame it on the alcohol would be a perfect summary for the situation Tony and Loki have found themselves in, how will the playboy and the god of mischief deal with possibility of becoming parents? Caution sex/language</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The mansion was dark and quiet with the return of its' master, who was drunk from a party he just left. Tony wobbled through the house dancing to some unheard beat, two bottles of 100 year aged whiskey in his hands. If he had to rate this night from one to ten, this was easily a perfect dime. The playboy sled out of his shoes and slouched down beside a cupboard in his luxurious kitchen. This was the perfect time for the trickster to make his move. Loki stepped out from the shadows, clad in full battle attire and sector in hand. This would be an easy victory.

"Stark," the god walked closer to him "You have let your drink carry you too far."

"Hold on loosely" Tony hummed the words to the 38 Special song "But don't let gooooo!"

Loki couldn't help but smirk at the scene his plans to capture Tony and use him as bait to get rid of the rest of the Avengers would prove even easyier than he thought

"If you cling too tightllllllllly ya, you might, you might loss controoooooollll!!!" Tony burst into a fit of laughter, if he were sober right now he would have to say that he hadn't been this drunk in a long time

The black haired god walked closer to the intoxicated man "It's time to go."

Tony held up his hands defensively "Old old on, I can't fergetabout the drinks." with a smile stretching from ear to ear Tony held up his two bottles of aged alcohol

Loki rolled his eyes and magicked to two of them away, leaving a note for the unsuspecting Avengers to find in the morning.

Back at Loki's secret hide out, the god had stashed the drunken billionaire in a small cell like room, grey and with no windows. He didn't have to worry about the playboy sneaking off, because all he could do right now was crawl on the floor carrying on about finding someone called Jerry. In just nine hours the pitiful Avenger team will find the note and come rushing into the trap the god had set for them. Everything was going according to plan.

"Hey-hey grean guy, why-why so-ser-" Tony couldn't stop himself from laughing, Loki didn't bother to lock the cell door, so Tony managed to crawl to the kitchen, with the bottles he brought in his coat pocket "why-so-ser-i-ouus" Tony laughed himself into an upright position against the refrigerator in Loki's kitchen

"Oh brother," Loki rolled his eyes, he's just as bad as Thor when he's drunk.

"Awww. Hey-hey wanna drink" Tony held up the two bottles of dark liquid dressed in a nicely decorated bottle

Loki rolled his eyes, Midgardian ales were the bane of his existence. While Loki did enjoy a drink from time to time, he could never find a drink that he liked. Though this was no time to drink, he needed to stay focused on his plan.

"Come on, green guy. Snout going to hurt you." Tony laughed

Loki glared at him, he was going to hurt him if he didn't shut up

Tony giggled, sweeping the floor for a steady piece of ground before hoisting himself off the floor and leaning onto the counter.

"What do you what now?" Loki looked at the petty full mortal

Tony searched the table "I need a bottlle opener."

Loki swatted his hand away "I think not, you are already intoxicated enough." truly it didn't matter how the playboy died, by his hands or by the bottle. So after a set of eye rolls Loki levitated a bottle opener to the table.

"Thanks up -burp-" Tony popped open the bottle

The aroma on the liquid actually didn't smell that bad. Loki watched the playboy look around the room like he had lost a child. "What are you searching for if I may ask?"

"A cu-burp-p 'xcuse me" Tony laughed again.

Loki rolled his eyes, idiot and levitated two glasses from the cabinet.

"Thanks hun" Tony smiled

Loki watched as Tony haphazardly poured two glasses of the dark amber liquid into each glass, surprisingly without wasting a drop.

"One fer me" Tony set his drink in front of him "And one fer you" he Laughed a little shifting in and out of giggle fits

Loki eyed the glass. It could be poison, but from the rumors he heard that the playboy was pretty serious about his liquors. He picked up the glass, swirling it a little before placing it to his nose. It really had a nice aroma, it reminded him of the strong ales they brewed back on Asgard. He took a sip, the liquid had a nice kick. The fluid traveled down his chest warming his entire body. "This is rather good, I'll credit you that." he took another sip, then another, before finishing what was in his glass.

"Want sa more?" Tony wiggled the bottle

"Oh grief, hand that to me before you waste it." Loki poured his self another drink

"Sure thing," but Tony couldn't stop himself from laughing

Before long Loki had finished the entire bottle by himself and without noticing that he had already popped open the second one. So it was no surprise that Loki didn't hear the Avengers busting down his door around 2am in the morning.

"Brother!" Thor rushed into the kitchen with such fury, his hammer in hand ready to fight at any minute. "Brother?" but the sight he and the other Avengers found was too bazaar to believe.

Loki and Tony were setting on the kitchen floor drunk off their rockers. Loki had a near empty bottle of alcohol in his hands, with another completely empty bottle lying at his feet.

When Loki saw Thor he burst into a fit of laughter, follow by Tony

"Brother, I" Thor shook his head, as Clint and Steve moved in the grab Tony

"Hey, what-youre doin' there" Loki reached out for his drinking companion, but soon collapsed into a fit of giggles

Thor sighed, this had been a long night. Having been startled awake by the emergency alarm and then traveling all this way only to find that your evil little brother was his having drinks with one of your closet friends. "Come brother," Thor gently pulled his drunken brother to his feet and led him out the front door to the transport cars.

"Thor," Loki lazily pointed between giggles

"Aye?" Thor looked at him

"Da door," Loki halted despite the older's protest "You can not leave da door unattended, what if Tom gets into Jerry."

Thor had no idea was his brother was talking about, the sooner he could get him to a secure bed to sober up, the sooner he could go back to sleep. He had wondered if this was what he was like when he was drunk. Thor could never quite remember after all those drunken nights how he managed to make it back to his bed every night. "Don't worry about it brother."

Loki nodded

The two reached the transport vehicles, Tony had falling to the ground rumbling on about toast hidden underneath the car.

Clint and Steve had already had the back door open for Loki to sit in. Thor ushered his brother into the car.

Tony jumped up "Wait! Shot gun!" he laughed and jumped into the back seat with Loki. The two fell to the floor in the back of the Jeep, laughing at each other. The team sighed, they were all too tired to deal with two drunken idiots and decided that since Loki hadn't killed Tony yet, a 40 minute drive would not hurt. Clint and Natasha drove Loki's transport Jeep, they had to bring up the back seat window because the two were making such racket. This was going to be a long drive. In the back seat Loki was lying on his back while Tony squeezed himself onto the floor.

"Hey Tonnny" Loki cooed between giggles. Loki had practically finished both bottles and he was feeling like a thousand pounds of gold

"Yeah," the playboy responded cheerfully

"What," Loki broke out into a fit of laughter along with Tony

Tony sat up to find himself a more comfortable position on the floor. They hit a bump, sending Tony into the air and on top of Loki

"Oalf," Loki gasped at the sudden extra weight oh his chest

"Hey theer sexy," Tony said seductively

Loki blushed, making kissy faces at the playboy, before one more bump connected their lips. Loki moaned into the kiss, he had not had intercourse in a long time and it showed in the ferocity he was kissing back and tugging at Tony's clothes. Like clockwork Tony unbuttoned his dress shirt, belt, and pants. He had become a master of drunken sex, over the years. He kissed Loki's plush lips again, moving down to his neck biting and nipping like a dog in heat. Loki responded very well to this with a series of whines and moans. Finally Loki couldn't take it anymore and ripped open his leather coat and undergarments. The heat radiated off the god's body as the cool night air rushed in. Loki shut his eyes, wanting nothing more than some release. Tony grind his thigh into Loki's erection and that was the final straw. The raven haired god bobbed his hips up and down, begging for some penetration. Tony sled the other's pants down and inserted himself into the nearest hole he could find. Loki screamed, clawing at the playboy's back. Tony thrusted in with the fury of a thousand swords cumming a little with each thrust, rocking the Jeep back and forth.

If Tony had been paying attention he might have stopped when felt the Jeep stop or at least when the door was open. The look on Thor's face was describable. His cheeks were a hot red, jaw clinched and eyes an icy blue.

"Stark!" The thunder god ripped the horny man off his brother, much to the other's protest

Stark fell to the ground, none of the events that happened that night were registering in. So he stood up, pulling up his pants and opened up his great big mouth "What, is theer a problem officer?"

But before he had time to laugh Thor slugged him right across the face, with a force that sent him flying five feet into the air. The drunken man hit the ground like a dead weight, knocked out cold.

"Dude!" Clint shouted, which caught the attention of Steve who also ran over to Tony.

None of the team had seen what the playboy and Loki were doing in the backseat of the Jeep and thank goodness for Loki's sake they hadn't. His brother did not handle embarrassment well.

"Damn Thor," Clint exclaimed "You knocked him the fuck out."

Steve checked for life signs "He's still breathing."

"I am sorry, but it was needed." The look of the thunder god's face said it all and read that his actions while deeply regretted were necessary

Clint and Steve nodded, picking up Tony and hulling him off to his room. The billionaire would need more than a big pack of ice to reduce the swelling his eye was about to blow up to in the morning.

Thor redressed his brother. He really couldn't blame Tony for his actions, Loki goes into fits of heat when he is intoxicated enough. The golden hair god tossed his brother over his shoulder. Fury and Natasha wanted to detain him to a waiting cell but Thor insisted that what his brother needed most was a nice soft bed and good nights sleep. Loki waved to the director, between giggles, trying to wiggle out of Thor's grip.

"Calm down brother, we are almost to my sleeping chambers." Thor finally arrived at his room and laid Loki on his bed. The younger god was sticky and sweating from the ordeal in the Jeep, but at least he was still in a good mood, something that would not last into the morning. It was probably better if Loki didn't know what he did this night.

"Thor," Loki smiled ear to ear with his eyes closed "Thanks for the goldfish."

Thor sighed "You're welcome brother" and prepared his brother for bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki slowly opened his eyes, the room was bright and his head was throbbing. He turned over in bed curling up in the covers, wasn't there something important he had to do last night? Then, like bucket of cool water to the face, he remembered his plans to capture Tony and take down the Avengers. He sprung up in bed, who's bed he didn't really care right now. He looked around the nicely decorated room, it was cozy and small. If it wasn't for the oddly placed Mjolnir in the corner then it would be perfect. Then in registered.

"If Mjolnir is here," Loki turned to the door "Then this must be...."

There was a light knock on the door "Brother," Thor slowly opened the door "Are you awake?"

Loki jumped out of bed, flinging the sheets directly at Thor's head. Thor, who was taken off guard by this sudden attack, summoned Mjolnir. Loki panicked looking around the room for an escape. He saw a window, blasted it open with one of his ice shards. He was about to jump, when he felt a breeze between his legs and that's when he finally realized he was naked too.

"What in all the realms," he cursed under his breath

He used his magic to summon his armor and used his scepter to open a portal to another one of his secret hideaways.

What a long week Loki sighed, he had spent the entire week secretly sneaking into SHEILD's base to get back some of the stuff that they had taken from his decoy home, which he actually slept in from time to time. Now that he retrieved all the items he liked he could finally rest and lie down for nap. He used his magic to reduce his garments down to a long night gown and plopped into his bed like a collapsing building.

"Finally finished" he muttered before drifting to sleep

Meanwhile back at Stark's mansion, the playboy genius was having an equally long week. Having your eye swollen shut sure put a damper on your Friday night plans. Tony haphazardly walked from room to room, trying not to bum into anything. It was a lot hardier to walk around with only one good eye and Thor had slugged him so hard that the swelling still hadn't gone down even after a week. Tony finally made it up to the kitchen where he pulled out one of his Pepper made ice bags. Pepper was a sweetheart, she always knew what to do when he was injured. He walked into the den, Clint, Steve, and Thor were watching soccer, he sat in his favorite recliner. Clint and Steve couldn't help but stare at his black and purple eye. Nearly all the capillaries had burst making the eye red, puffy, and gross.

"How's the eye," Clint joked

"Fine thank you," Tony shifted his arm into a more comfortable position

Thor looked at the man of Iron, his face sullen "I am glad that you are noticing some improvement in your eye"

Tony shot the blonde haired god a death glare, Tony still had not forgiven the thunder god for the shinner

Thor sunk deeper into the couch. He had told no one of the true reason he had struck Tony in the parking lot last week. Whenever anyone had asked, Thor said that man of iron had insulted him greatly. That seemed to set well with everyone except Tony who couldn't fathom what on Earth he said to make the Thunder god that angry. Regardless, now Tony was pissed at Thor and probably wont speak to him for about a month but that would nothing compared to what Loki would do if anyone found out he slept with Tony.

Five months later, Loki began to notice some unwelcome changes in his body. He already suspected that he might be taking with child, but no matter how hard he thought he could not remember the exact moment of fertilization. He suspected that some of the dormant sperm he harbored in his body must have found their way to his reproductive track. Though nothing could convince him that those samples were still viable. He has had many pregnancies before and for five months he was still relatively small, so the child couldn't be from one of the many beast he has lain with in the past.

He walked over to his mirror, lifting his shirt, to get a better look at his belly. "What kind of baby are you?" he turned to his right side "And where did you come from?"

Loki let his shirt fall to his waist and walked to his desk to look at his planner. It is very hard to tell the exact moment of conception if you don't remember even having sex at all, but now he was five months and now he could tell. In his past pregnancies he would develop tiny light brown freckles all under his eyes and on the bridge of his nose and would stay with him until delivery. He marked the third day he noticed the freckles and started to count back. His calendar fell to March, there wasn't much on the schedule. A few appointments with underground terror groups, a lunch with his son Fen, a planned kidnapping of Tony Stark.

"No," he dropped his book in horror "It can't be" the thoughts running through his mind made him sick to his stomach. He never could remember the night, but he did remember waking up in Thor's bed naked. he retched in his hands, the thought of caring his not-brother's child made him so dizzy he felt like he was going faint.

Thor had been setting in his room trying to read a magazine on cars, the tiny metal machines fascinated him so much. He felt a slight breeze in the air, he looked at the window but it was closed and just as he turned around to continue reading his magazine Loki punched him square in the face with the force of a pro-boxer without any gloves. Thor's head hit the back wall, creating a hole in the off whited painted walls.

"AHH!" Thor grabbed his nose and the back of his head at the same time. If this were a normal person they would surely passed out by now, but Thor was tougher. "Ugh," he looked at his fingers covered in blood, it had been a while since he'd had his nose broken, he forgot how gosh darn painful it felt "Who dare attack the son on Odin" he slurred, still a little dizzy from the double contact

"Are you as blind as you are stupid!" Loki shouted "Turn around I'm over here you scheming troll!"

Thor frowned at the insult, he didn't need another person raging mad it him, Tony still gives him death glares "Brother?"

Loki's face was twisted into a scowl "What this your plan all a long!?"

Thor looked at him with a confused look.

Loki was so angry he was near tears "To lay me and not even give me the courtesy of telling me!!"

Thor furrowed his brow "Lay?"

Loki's face was so red, Thor almost missed the freckles on his face "Is this what you do with me every time I am drunk! Is it!"

Thor's eyes widened, if Loki had freckles, then that meant that his was, pregnant with you know who's "Loki" Thor said softly, by now Loki was actually in tears "Please have a seat"

Loki wanted to beat the life out of him, but his fit of rage had tired him out too quickly. He took a seat of the bed, but on the edge, far away from Thor.

"Brother I can explain." he looked over at his brother and told him about his somewhat successful attempt/plan to capture Tony Stark that turned into a crazy night of drinking 100 year old whiskey, with led to a set of unfortunate events on the back seat of a SHEILD transport Jeep "And I promise to you on the name of Odin and all of Asgard I have not told a living soul, not even Stark."

Loki stared at Thor with widen watery eyes "So....it was an accident?"

Thor nodded

"And you didn't take me without my permission?"

Thor sled over to his brother at the end of the bed "I would never do such a thing" and kissed him softly on his forehead.

Loki berried his head into Thor's chest, shedding tears of relief.

Thor looked down at his brother "Are you going to tell Stark?"

Loki looked up at Thor and shrugged his shoulders, all this yelling has made him tired and Thor's chest was quite soft today. Loki snuggled deeper into the blonde's chest, he felt bad for breaking the thunder god's nose, maybe he could be nice to him and stay if only for a day. Thor smiled, he slid himself and Loki to the head of the bed. He wrapped his arms around Loki's small frame allowing him more space to sleep. His nosed finally stopped bleeding, he would have to come up with something elaborate to explained why there was a hole in the wall and his nose was broken.

The following morning....

"What on Earth happened to your nose!" Clint nearly shouted as the rest of the team stared in disbelieve at the damage done to the god's perfect face.

Thor put of his saddest face "I sneezed and collided with Mjolnir"

Everyone in the room felt immediately bad offering him ice and boxes of his favorite pop tarts, even Tony gave him a 'sorry for your luck' pat of the back.

Thor would soon be returning that pat back to Tony sooner than he thinks.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been quiet these past couple of months, which worried Thor everyday. While the team enjoyed the peace and quiet Thor feared that at any moment Loki would turn up, tell Stark the news, and everything in his perfect little world would come crashing down. The stress was actually causing him to be short with his friends. He spent most of his time in his room hoping the Man of Iron was ready to become a father, because if Loki was involved he really didn't have a choice.

Tony was in a his lab running test on his propulsion boots, when Loki appeared on the other side on the monitor.

"Sir," JARVIS chimed "You have a visitor."

Tony lowered his reading glasses looking left and right, but saw no one.

Loki stepped out from behind the large screen, when Tony spotted him he couldn't believe his eyes. The god of mischief had almost doubled in size and had so many freckles on his face he was sure this was the place all freckles came from.

Loki put up his hands defensively "Now before you become all trigger happy and call your team of buffoons down here, I have something very important to tell you." before Tony could move Loki used his magic to move him into a chair tying him up using scraps of metal and wires and gagged him "I will not waste my breath to say this to you twice, as I am very tired. So," he clapped his hands together "With that being said let me begin. First off have I mention that your hair cut looks rather nice?"

Tony's eye switched, a complement before death, now he was really scared.

"Alright, so you may have notice that I have picked up a little weight"

A little? Tony shouted in his head.

Loki shifted his eyes back and forth "That is because-hmmmm" he pursed his lips "Perhaps I should start from the beginning. About nine months ago or so I may have kidnapped you while you were drunk. Although I don't remember this, I'm sure it happened, yes it did, okay. So I may have kidnapped you, brought you to my secret layer, shared a few drinks with you, had sex with you in whatever a Jeep is, gotten pregnant, and and," he exhaled "that's all," he rubbed his hands together, glancing at his naked wrist "Well look at the time, I believe Doctor Who comes on in oh lets say five minutes, tootles" the god summoned his scepter, opened a portal and dashed away.

Leaving a petrified Tony strapped and gagged to a chair in his lab.

It took the team a total of five hours to figure out Tony was trapped in his lab. The group, minus Thor, were very bewildered to find their friend tied up in his lab. They were even more concerned when the playboy wasn't making any noises when they untied him. Surely the man had something to say, after all he just survived his second life threatening run in with Loki in the past nine months.

"Man are you okay?" Clint looked concerned

But Tony sat at the bar trembling barely touching his drink.

Steve patted him on the back "Do you think Loki could have done something to his reactor?" He asked Bruce

Bruce looked at the diagnostic chart from JARVIS's full body scan "Doesn't look like it."

Natasha contacted Fury about Loki's latest attack on the Tony. "Fury's sending agents over to check for traces," she walked in, she and the rest of the team, minus Thor, were hell bend of finding out what Loki did to Tony.

Everyone gathered around Tony like a sick puppy, while Thor hung back in the distance. There was no way Thor would tell the team what happened those many months ago, he promised. It was up to Loki or either Tony now and from the looks of it, he did not think Tony would be the one delivering the news.

\-----

Loki pranced around his small kitchen in his new apartment. He was fixing blueberry, strawberry, banana pancakes. He moved his bump to the beat of the Kidz Bop song on the children's station. He rather liked their karaoke style of singing, because he himself fashioned himself as an expert karaoke singer. He mixed the batter, sampling it with his finger, satisfied with the taste. He poured the pancake mix into the butted pan, humming along to the song Toxic by Brittney Spears sung by the Kidz Bop kids. It took only minutes to cook and soon he was presented with five stacks of blueberry, strawberry, banana pancakes. He put them on a plate and added a tall glass of orange juice and bowl of Lucky Charms with cut strawberry's.

"Perfect!" he looked around the kitchen "It just needs..." he smiled when he saw what he had taken out when he started cooking. Milk, strawberry sauce, and maple syrup. "Now it's perfect."

He added the milk and strawberry sauce to his cereal and the syrup to his pancakes and sat down for a very delicious lunch, if this turned out the way he wanted then he would prepare it again for dinner. Just as he cut into his layers of pancakes, he heard a commotion down the hall. He paid no mind to it, as his neighbors tended to be a little noisy at times. Soon the commotion turned into doors being kicked in follow by shouts of voices he was familiar with. Loki paid no mind, taking large bites out of his homemade lunch. The team, minus Tony, found the trickster eating lunch calmly at his kitchen table.

"This is a surprise" Loki smirked

Natasha stepped forward gun in hand "What did you do to Tony?"

Loki look generally confused and looked over at Thor who shrugged nervously "Whatever do you mean?"

Clint pulled back the line on his automatic bow "Spill it."

Loki honestly looked confused.

Clint glared at the god "Start talking or we'll get the big guy."

This got Loki really worried, he looked at Thor for help.

"Perhaps," Thor looked over at Loki nervously "My brother does not know what has be falling the Man of Iron."

The group looked at the thunder god is disbelief.

Clint aimed his arrow "Bullshit, he made it so bat shit easy to find him. He's toying with us."

Thor looked a Loki with a worried look, shrugging again.

Loki sighed, raising himself slowly from the chair "Perhaps I should explain."

When the team saw his enormous bump, they dropped all of their weapons, even Fury who was watching from the mobile unit could not believe his eye. Loki's stomach was so round and big that you could see his belly button through his woven shirt.

Loki cleared his throat shifting his weight from his left leg to his right, placing his right hand on his sore back "I am not sure as to what damage you are referring to concerning your Man of Iron. However I did paid him a small visit it to 'borrow'" he quoted with his fingers "this lovely cookbook." Loki picked up the cook book on the kitchen table

Thor sighed in relief, he knew that Loki would not so easily relieve the truth behind the matter.

The team looked very confused, not about the cookbook which was given to Tony by Pepper some time ago, but about the current state in which their friend was in now. Petrified was not normal.

Clint looked at Loki is disbelieve "So Tony's petrified because of a cookbook?"

Loki looked at Thor, who shrugged nervously again, thinking quickly Loki thought of a counter "I...may have been dressed up as a Kertaco creature."

Thor smiled at the inside joke.

Natasha raised her eyebrow "Ker what?"

Loki looked innocently off at the ceiling "Oh, only the most terrifying creature in the whole of the universe, stare into its eyes petrifies you on contact. Should ware off in a week or two."

The team looked at Thor, who nodded remorsefully.

Loki waddled over and handed the book to Clint, who still couldn't believe what he was seeing "Here, I don't need it anymore, please hand it back to Stark and tell him the recipe for blueberry strawberry banana pancakes is the best." Loki waddled back over to his chair and began eating again "Oh and before you leave, please fix my front door, I just put the money down on this place."

The group gathered outside to discuss whether or not to believe him. Thor said he would join them after he got a bite of those delicious looking pancakes.

Thor entered the kitchen again "Brother"

Loki looked up defensively guarding his pancakes "No Thor you can't have any."

Thor frowned, he did want to talk to his brother but he also wanted a bite of those pancakes. He took a seat next to his brother, staring at the pancakes like a drooling dog. "Loki.." Thor whined

Loki rolled his eyes "Fine, but you can't have any of my strawberry cereal," he cut through the layers of pancakes with his fork, jabbing them with his fork and holding it up "Here, open up."

It wasn't everyday that Loki fork fed anyone, let alone of all people Thor, but he wanted to show his silent gratitude for not telling the rest of the group about his situation. Thor really enjoyed the pancakes and Loki settled on sharing the rest of the pancakes with Thor. Clint peered into the kitchen, he sensed something was not right, never has he seen Loki be so mushy mushy with Thor even if they all suspected he might be pregnant. They left Loki's apartment with no real reason to arrest him. Thor and Loki were under contract from Asgard, as long as Loki didn't kill anyone he was aloud to serve his time to fix what he broke. However after of week of ill-timed near death pranks they let him have his way. They figured a prank every few weeks was better than one everyday.

\-----

Loki whimpered as he laid in bed breathing in and out slowly. He had been in labor for hours, usually depending on the father labor would last a few hours, sometimes minutes if it was with another Jotunn, but it had been five hours now and the pain was intense. He moaned as the sweat dripped from his brow, and the worst part about his ordeal was that he was left to suffer alone. He looked over at the clock. It was only eleven o' clock. He groaned, the baby was in the right position but reluctant to move down the birthing channel.

JARVIS sounded the alarm, he now was programmed to go off every time Loki entered the mansion. The team jumped out of bed to their stations. JARVIS scanned the building for Loki's trace, he was walking towards the bedrooms in the upstairs hallway on the left side of the mansion.

"Move out!" Clint shouted

Everyone rushed to that location.

Loki thought the alarm was incredibly stupid. He was only here to see his brother. The noise rattled through his head, making the pain from his contractions hurt even more. He inched along the hallway, using the wall as support, he was sure Thor's room was just up the hall.

The team, minus Thor who had said he left his hammer in his room, rounded the corner, on one side of the hall behind Loki. "Freeze!" Clint shouted, the rest of the team right behind him, including Tony.

Thor happened to get there at the same time standing on the other side of the hallway right in front of Loki.

Clint walked closer "What are you up to?" he pointed his bow at the raven haired god

Loki turned around with such a feral look in his eyes "What am I up to you ask? I'm up to fucking nothing, because I have a fucking baby cramped up my vaginal opening and if you don't let me get to Thor's room I'll rip your fucking dick off and shove it through your mouth and out your ass!" Loki screamed the pain from his contractions clearly visible on his face.

Clint back away "Okay man." he put his hands up defensively walking backwards slowing to the group.

When Tony got a good look at Loki's body he fainted landing face first in his suit.

"Oh crap," Clint looked down

Clint, Steve, and Bruce rushed quickly to the floor to help roll Tony to his back.

Loki rubbed his temples, slowly sliding down the wall to the floor "And can you shut that damn alarm off!" there was as much venom in his statement as the last.

Bruce looked up at the ceiling "Hey JARVIS I think we're good."

"Yes sir," JARVIS chimed turning off the alarm.

Thor knelt down next his brother, trying to help his him to his feet "How are you feeling brother?" Thor immediately regretted his statement.

Loki grabbed onto his arms with a vice like grip "How do you think," Loki responded with a low growl. The exhausted god had hoped Thor didn't expect him to walk all the way to his room, the run in with the band of heroes had exhausted him. The smaller god collapsed in Thor's arms.

Clint and Bruce had already began to hull Tony back to his room. Natasha called Fury to tell him that they had the situation under control. Steve stayed back to help Thor "Should we take him to the hospital?" the masked captain honestly had no idea what to do, it was written all over his face, but it was the right thing to do, to at least offer your help.

Thor looked up "Nay, please help Barton and Banner take Stark to his room."

Steve nodded, relieved that he didn't have to watch a guy give birth.

Loki moaned and whimpered in Thor's arms. The raven haired god pulled on the other's shirt, wrapping his arms around his neck. Thor, picked up on this and slid his arm under Loki's legs and carried him to his room.

\-----

Thor rushed around the room, dipping clothes into buckets of cool water "Loki, I want you to keep breathing, slowly."

Loki kicked the sheets off the bed "I am!" he screamed "Why the hell is this taking so loooooooonnnnngggg" Loki squeezed his eyes shut. It was time to push "Thor! Thor, grab my hand!"

As much as Thor didn't want to, he knew he had to. He dropped the cloth and ran over to the bed. "I'm here brother."

Loki shouted "I'm not your broooooooooo ow ow ow ow ow ther!" Loki tightened his death grip

Thor winced "Just one more push,"

Loki glared at him "How do you- ow ow ow OW OW" he exhaled "AHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO" releasing a scream that Thor was sure would make him deaf.

The baby crowned and sled right out, falling into Thor's arm. This wasn't his first delivery, he had helped Loki deliver all of his children. Thor cradled the child, grabbing a soft clean towel to wipe the baby off and another to wrap the new born in. Loki allowed Thor to cut the cord.

"Look Loki," Thor handed him the new born "it's a boy."

Loki smiled, checking under the towel "No you oaf, it's a girl," Loki fell back into the bed with his new bundle in hand.

Thor stood up, watching Loki bond with his new born baby. It was time to give Loki some space so he quietly stepped back and exited the room.

The following morning...

Thor walked into Tony's room. "How are you feeling?"

Tony looked at Thor "Good good, super, fine." Tony trailed off

Thor beamed "That's wonderful, I am glad to hear that you have recovered from your faint. I would like to inform you that the delivery was very successful"

Tony looked at Thor "Oh yeah, forgot about that," and passed out again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where has the time gone!!!!  
> Buuuuut without further ado, here's the last chapter!

Thor walked happily down the hallway to his room. He had made his brother a wonderful breakfast of roasted ham, bacon, homemade biscuits, pop tarts, and milk. He arrived at his room.

"Brother," he pushed the door open with his butt "I have made you breakfast." But when the god turned around his brother and the newborn were no where to be found.

The rest of the day the Avengers all had lot of questions. Tony seemed to be recovering with the help of Pepper, Thor seemed spaced out. Every time someone would walk up to him and ask him a question about Loki, the blonde god would pout and say that he did not have any new information about his brother and the child. Clint thought this whole situation was a little strange. He got the impression that Thor knew a lot more then he was letting on.

Clint closed the refrigerator with his butt, he was making lunch in the kitchen with Natasha "I'm just saying Nat, Thor knows more than he's telling us."

Natasha continued to read her mission manual "And what makes you think that?"

Clint put mustard on his ham sandwich "I just got this feeling."

Bruce, who was setting in the other room walked into the kitchen "I would have to agree, I don't like to stick my head into other's peoples business but" Bruce looked around to make sure that there weren't any Norse god's listening in "I think this goes deeper than the drama about Tony's cookbook."

Tony sat in his lab, how was he going to explain this child situation to Pepper. He still loved her very much and would liked to have had a baby with her first. This might be the last straw for him. There was nothing he could do to get out of it, the child had already been born. He sighed, for once he opted out of his usual drinking avenues. He could really go for a walk.

Loki arrived back his apartment only hours ago. He laid in bed, thinking about what would be the best way to raise his daughter. He didn't want this child to go without knowing her father, however Tony Stark was not the father type. Loki could run off and raise her himself without a problem, but she would have questions later in her life. It would be wrong of him to rob her of knowing her other dad, know matter how annoying he was.

If Tony had to rate breaking the news to Pepper from one to ten, him would say a five wasn't all that bad. Sure she slapped him in the face, tried to burn him with the candles he set up for dinner, and tried to stab him with a fork, but it could have been a lot worse. He walked into the kitchen the team were all sitting around the kitchen table eating blue crab, from who knows were. Apparently someone had sent them over 20 bushels of crab, which were Clint's favorite. Also that very same day someone had dropped off a brand new combat pistol for Natasha she nearly lost her shit. She ran right for the gun range. Tony also passed Steve in the hallway, apparently the stared spangled captain had received a Jukebox with all his favorite songs from his teen years. Tony guessed that it must be Avenger appreciation day or something.

"Hey guys," Tony walked over to the table where all his friends were feasting, there was music playing. "What's the oldie?"

Steve smiled "Swinging on a Star," Steve tapped his foot, he was a big time Bing Crosby fan

Tony nodded looking at the rest of his friends "How's the gun Nat?"

"Perfect!" she said, breaking the crab's body in half

Thor waved a crab leg in the air smiling like a possessed frog.

Clint looked up and pointed to Tony's face "Fight with Pepper?"

Tony shrugged "Nah, we were just, ah talking." Tony changed the subject, like hell he was going to tell the team he had had a baby with their number one enemy.

Bruce smiled "Thanks Tony for the pairs of stretchable pants."

Tony had no idea what Bruce was talking about but the playboy would never turn down free credit "Sure, don't mention it big guy."

Just as Tony had said that Loki appeared in the kitchen door, "Now that isn't fair Stark," with bags surrounding his feet and a small child in hand.

Tony jerked around, to shocked for words.

Clint wanted to get up and do something about Loki but the blue crab was too perfect to pass up.

Natasha glared at him, but she could not take a shot at him with a baby in his hands.

Bruce looked worried, however not by much because of the degree of smile Thor was putting on. He looked like he was about the explode from happiness.

Loki walked closer bouncing and snuggled the new born in his arms "Credit should be given where credit is due." Everyone looked at the god "All the gifts in front of you are from me."

Everyone was completely shocked, even Clint stopped eating his crab.

"They are," Loki paused to find the right words "As you Midgardians call it gifts of pace."

Clint picked up another blue crab "You're on baby vacation?"

Loki smiled "Yes I guess you can say that," he cradled his tiny baby "besides I wouldn't want my precious baby girl to miss a minute with her father."

Thor's eyes widened and Tony longed like he was going to drop a brick.

Loki walked over to Tony "I hope you don't mind me moving back in Stark, I assure you I will be no trouble at all" he smirked "Mostly, now if you would excuse me, I believe baby Ellena needs a diaper change."

All eyes were on the spot Loki was just standing at, even Thor was shocked at Loki's actions. Looks like the team has a new addition whether they like it or not.

End.

 

**Thanks for reading!**


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